Newlywed Pakistani actress Javeria Abbasi and husband Adeel Haider have made an appearance on Fuchsia Magazine’s podcast Gup Shup where the duo spoke their minds about second marriages and societal concerns. The duo also shared their side of stories and particular perceptions about love.
Adeel Haider shared, "I first saw Javeria at a gathering with friends, and I liked her instantly. At that time, I didn't even know she was an actress or part of the showbiz industry."
He added, "It was love at first sight for me, and gradually, we became friends, but it took me three years to convince Javeria to marry me."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWgNUykrzdE
Adeel revealed that due to his previous marriage and some societal issues, their wedding was delayed, though they had intended to marry much earlier.
Javeria Abbasi, while talking about her husband, disclosed, "Like me, this is also Adeel's second marriage. His first marriage ended in divorce, and he has children from that marriage."
The actress explained that her relationship with Adeel started before her daughter Anzela's wedding, but her first priority was her daughter’s marriage. "After my daughter’s wedding, I finally decided to marry."
She further mentioned, "During those two and a half to three years, Adeel kept proposing, but I kept declining. When I finally agreed, Adeel showed some attitude, but in the end, we got married."
Haider said that second marriage as a man was not any easier because they face other kinds of backlash, including the impact on their first wife and children. He acknowledged, however, that such situations were more difficult for women.
“But, if at any age, you think this is the kind of partner I want to spend my life with, then why not? What’s wrong with that? You should fulfill your responsibilities but everyone is an individual who has the right to spend their life how they want,” he said, adding that he and Juvaria were initially friends for two years and that he wasn’t actively looking for a second wife but their connection was “beautiful”.
Juvaria explained that the couple’s main concerns were society, their children and their families and elders. She said Haider had “very cute” parents who were now hers too because her biological parents had passed away. “They accepted me with open arms and still love me a lot. It’s very nice.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7z666uqtn8
The actor emphasised that a nikkah was a very good thing because it legalised a relationship and the couple then fulfilled it beautifully. She said no intelligent family would ever object to such a thing, adding that most comments on her marriage announcement were positive, with women telling her she gave them hope.
“A lot of women gave us hope too. Like Samina [Ahmad] appa and Bushra Ansari who remarried at a much later age than me and are very happy. I saw them and thought it was no problem [to remarry].” Juvaria said that her elders set examples, which is why they could become an example for others and she hopes the younger generation would learn from them.
“We see that people’s spouses die but children are against their parents remarrying or hold grudges their entire lives. This is wrong. They are humans with needs and emotional traumas. People get married and live their own lives while their poor mother is living by herself, it’s very sad,” the actor said. She added that when Islam, the Holy Quran and the Constitution of Pakistan allowed remarriage, then people should let others live.
Juvaria said that children today had a lot of emotions, however, if they empathised with and understood that the other person had similar needs, emotions, traumas, and rights, then things would improve.
“You think your mom is your property but she needs someone to spend her life with. Parents and children both need to be understanding.”
Haider added that everyone should respect peoples’ individualities and differences and give them space for their emotions and rights.